Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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