You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you would pick up someone in the library
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
