Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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