OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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