i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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