OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
