I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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