farters have to be the big spoon...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We have started to decorate penises.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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