Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
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You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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