I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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