found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize
