Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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