Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
