My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
whose ass print is on the piano?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
