I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
BRING THE BAGELS
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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