Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize