real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
