Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And then my night got REAL pukey
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
