i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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