He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
