Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dear god my vagina.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
