i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
