drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
