And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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