i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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