i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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