and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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