can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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