I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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