I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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