New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
