I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
