Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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