You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
