My room smells like vodka and shame
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
