sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
