okay pat passed out under dana's car
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize