glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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