you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
