You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Farmville is her only friend.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
