Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
