he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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