Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
