I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
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Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
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