She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
