It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
