STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
