Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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