i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
