Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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