I feel like abortions should bother me more
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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