I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
