I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
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"I fell off a bicycle/walked into something/was moving furniture to help a friend."
Seems like you have experienced this delimma before lol.
No, I'm just more creative than OP seems to be.
Rappelling down the climbing wall...went into an uncontrolled spin. Random bruises... Great excuse
Slipped and fell down/up the stairs. Works 100% of the time with few followup questions.
Cover up is your friend, unless they're purple, in which case you're just screwed in an unpleasant way.