My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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