i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
