how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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