Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
