I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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