my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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