Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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