What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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