you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This gyro tastes like lonliness
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
