Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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